I swore, remember?
by DemigodGleek
Summary: "Suddenly, everybody around him wasn't mourning. Everybody around him wasn't sick or dead. They were the highest level of alive, with more than healthy bodies. They weren't tired and worn out; they had energy and strong powers, ready to use them for the best. It was such a contrast, like when you turn on the light in a completely dark room." ((Sorry for grammar or spelling-errors))


**I swore, remember?**

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**Okay, I've realized I love writing about Avengers. Yippie! **

**I actually didn't want to write this myself. I wanted to find a fanfiction about Bruce appreciating his new friends and being all happy that he had found a science bro (Tony) but then I tried out writing it myself and it turned out like this. Please review and tell me what you think!**

**No warnings, I guess. No pairings mentioned, either. Not my characters!**

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It was hard to adjust.

Bruce found himself feeling like he was opening his eyes for the first time, and what he saw was so different from how he had thought it would be. It wasn't worse; nothing could be worse than what he had imagined, simply because he didn't really let himself imagine at all. If he had been blind, he wouldn't have made himself an illusion of what he thought the world looked like; he would just have based it on the things he already knew, like how it sounded and felt. People would maybe call it dull, but well, wasn't he, too?

But then, suddenly, he could actually _see_; see the foreign things he had heard people speak about his entire life but never understood. Things like real happiness and peace; not the cautious calmness that Bruce normally felt, chaos bubbling just beneath the surface and all around him. Helping people was hectic, but it gave him a strange sense of calmness, and that was the closest to control he could come.

Now everything was different. He could feel peace without all of that. Not yet, but he would be able to soon enough; he was gradually working himself up there.

The biggest difference, though, was the people. Bruce Banner was used to being surrounded by people he didn't know or being completely alone. It was best that way; people he didn't know didn't know him, which meant they didn't know the other guy, either. And being alone was easy.

At first, he had tried to convince himself that he wasn't lonely. He was just alone, not in company, in an empty place. And he liked that; he liked not needing to be worried about anyone triggering the other guy or any people being around to get hurt if an accident happened. It was an odd feeling of safety, to know that other people wouldn't be hurt. He cared very much about other people's safety, so much more than he cared for him self's. That wasn't strange; what could hurt him, when he had the other guy?

But then the loneliness really started to kick in. Not in a way that made him desire other people's company; he cared too much for their lives to be that selfish. Not in a way that made him imagine himself in a perfect – _normal_ – world, because he knew that was surreal and stupid. It was an odd loneliness, knowing it couldn't be cured and still not easing at all. Bruce learned to push it away, push all feelings away but the professional sympathy he needed when he handled his patients.

At last, all he could feel was the anger from the other guy and the appropriate sadness for the sick or dead patients and their dearest.

Everyone around him was mourning, Bruce realized. They were all so sad. He didn't know a single happy soul. His work taught him that other people had it so much worse than him. He didn't allow himself to feel any self-pity, because he didn't deserve it at all. It was strange, he thought, because if someone else had been gone through what he had, he would have mourned that person's destiny so much. But it was about him, Bruce Banner, and suddenly it wasn't worth that pity.

Suddenly, everybody around him wasn't mourning. Everybody around him wasn't sick or dead. They were the highest level of alive, with more than healthy bodies. They weren't tired and worn out; they had energy and strong powers, ready to use them for the best. It was such a contrast, like when you turn on the light in a completely dark room.

Bruce admired them. Not their powers – many of them had been through horrific things to gain their skills – but that energy, that aliveness, that awareness of everything around them. He knew from the beginning that he wasn't one of them (how could he be?) but it was fine, because they still were around him, speaking to him, knowing him, and it was terrifying and amazing at the same time.

Most of them were getting to know him – Bruce – but already knew about the other guy. They didn't quite fear the doctor, but they weren't completely calm; they tried to act like it didn't bother them that he could turn in to a green beast and kill them all any second, and it was very kind, but they were cautious. They cared for their safety, and they did all they could not to trigger the other guy, and that was where Bruce saw the fear. When Tony poked him with a pointy thing, and Cap had gotten angry. When he had talked about it and in the heat of his speech grabbed Loki's spire, and the others had stared at him with uncovered fear in their wide eyes. When Natasha had been so scared that she had sworn on her own life that they were going to be okay, just to calm him down. He remembered all these things clearly, he knew that his allies always were waiting for him to transform, and it hurt in a way Bruce hadn't experienced in a very long time.

He busied himself. He spent most of his time in the lab, working with things they trusted him to know. Science was something he always had loved; cold, straight-forward, never fuzzy. It was so clear – the only clear thing in the world, actually. He observed what was happening from distance, because he didn't want to ask; he accepted that what he knew was all he needed to know. He didn't question it when the new fellow, Thor, suddenly appeared. He didn't question it when they said that one of the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. had switched sides, and then came back. He didn't question it when he first realized that Fury was hiding something. Bruce didn't question any of the strange things happening, because he knew that if it was something he had to know, someone would eventually tell him.

But despite all these things, his allies were very kind to him. They could have locked him in the big cage, but they trusted him enough to let him work in the lab. They even trusted him enough to give him someone to work with; someone who wasn't the least bit scared of him or the other guy. His name was Tony Stark and he actually _liked _Bruce Banner.

When Tony first had showed up, starting to speak scientifically, a tiny flare of excitement had fluttered in Bruce. He had started speaking too, and Tony had gestured toward him and exclaimed "Finally someone who knows English!". It had been a glorious moment, because this man actually understood him and his interests. Then they had shook hands, Tony praising him for his work, and then he had commented the other guy in a way Bruce never had heard before. He didn't really know if it was a joke or not, because his new companion looked serious, and had replied with an awkward "Thanks."

Working with Tony in the lab was refreshing. He had the same knowledge in science as Bruce, and they knew exactly how to work together; they didn't even need to look at each other or ask whenever they needed a tool or anything else. But the most terrific thing was how calm Tony was; he didn't show any fear at all, even though he was in a pretty isolated room with a man who could kill him any moment. This didn't alarm Tony a bit; quite the contrary, actually. He was interested in the Hulk and his skills, how he was triggered and how his mind worked. Bruce had no idea how to embrace this new, friendly interest, and found himself loosening up and telling Tony the things he always pushed in to the forbidden corner of his mind.

Tony was actually the first to realize how _scared _Bruce was of himself.

With that knowledge, he softened a little. Instead of asking right away or trying to trigger the other guy, Tony talked to Bruce about it. He told him his theory about the Hulk saving his life; he compared the other guy to his own experience with the Arc Reactor and he _befriended _Bruce. It was so new, to have someone who didn't _have_ to work with him but _wanted _to and liked it. To have someone who tried to make him embrace the other guy instead of push him away.

Bruce was sure that if it hadn't been for Tony, he would never have learned to control the Hulk.

Not that he really controlled him. It was impossible to control the other guy; he had his own mind and thoughts and urges. But before, Bruce would completely disappear when the other guy came around, and he wouldn't be able to think for himself. He wasn't conscious when the Hulk used his body, and he didn't remember what he had done when it was over.

But in the last battle against Loki and his Chitauri, Bruce experienced something new. He had controlled the transformation, he had _decided_ to transform. And his thoughts hadn't completely vanished when the Hulk took over. He hadn't been able to make the other guy do things, but he could make suggestions and give orders. The amazing thing was that the Hulk actually listened.

When he saw Tony fall, he hadn't even had time to think. The other guy had known before Bruce could have told him. It had been a moment of complete agony when they had come back to the ground again and his friend hadn't been breathing. The Hulk didn't take devastation in the same way as he did; Bruce's mind had went completely numb, and for a moment had had no say in the other guy's actions again. The fact that it was the Hulk, without Bruce's influence, who had woke up Tony again was something he was sure he never would be able to wrap his mind around.

From that moment, no one of the others was scared anymore. They didn't know anything about how much control he actually had, or if it all could slip right out of his hands again, but they believed – _truly _believed – in him. The way they looked at him wasn't the way you look at a man who could betray – unconsciously or not – you any moment. They looked at him like one of them, a hero, not a beast.

It was surreal. It was the dream world he never had let himself imagine.

And even though he remembered how they had looked at him when they were scared, the memory of them looking at him with awe and pure friendliness was much clearer.

"If anything ever attacks again, I would want you to fight by my side, Hulk." Thor had commented proudly, grinning.

"You scared the hell out of Loki." Barton had shrugged. "I respect anyone who does that."

"It was a pleasure to see _you _fight, Doctor." Cap had called him out and smiled.

"I'm not even going to tell you 'I told you so', Banner." Tony said, flinging an arm around his shoulders. "I want you to come and help me fix Stark Tower. You can stay as long as you want – I love JARVIS to death, but it would be refreshing to talk to a smart _person_ instead."

Bruce hadn't been able to speak, but he hadn't needed to. His friends flashed him understanding smiles and left, some of them patting his shoulder.

"I swore, remember?" Natasha leaned forward and said with a small smile.

When she had sworn, he hadn't believed her for a second. It had been stupid, very stupid, because it wasn't really Bruce she had spoken to. He had been in the middle of becoming the Hulk, and if she had said it only a few seconds later, Bruce Banner wouldn't have been there to hear it at all. But he had, and he remembered it, and it was actually those words which had really fished out the other guy, because the Hulk didn't care at all about her life. It was the only thing he remembered before sinking in to unconsciousness.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you." Bruce apologized.

"I didn't expect you to." The agent shrugged, her eyes glittering, and then she walked away, following the rest of the team.

Tony was the only one left, and he looked utterly confused.

"Have I missed something?"

"No." Bruce said, and turned and looked at his friend with the easiest smile he had ever smiled. "So, how big will my office be?"


End file.
